So, as another season of my life comes to a close and the sadness and grief of those lost dreams and hopes seem to ease I realize…
AWWWW, HELL! LIFE IS STILL GOOD!!!
I know you thought this was going to be another one of those woe is me, my husband left, I have no children and I’m over 50 sad stories. But it’s not! Yes, I was devastated when my husband told me he wanted a divorce. Yes, I thought I would never get through the sad, nauseous feeling of, "What do I do now that I’m not going to have that happily ever after marriage every young girl dreams of?" And yes, I’m tired of seeing that sad look on people’s faces when you tell them, “Well, I’m going through my second divorce and no, I don’t have any children.” But the cloud is lifting and the nausea is going away and I’m in a new season. You see, I belong to a secret society of women. We are the over 50, no husband, no children, have our own money, homes, businesses, we're happy and still look damn good SOCIETY!! There aren't many of us out there and it’s not easy to get in. In fact, it’s harder than pledging a sorority! But we do exist and every few years a new member steps up and speaks out to let other women know about the benefits of being one of US. So I have slipped on my Manolo’s, had a mani/pedi and dubbed myself this year’s voice for the “SOCIETY”
OK, jokes aside. This has not been a good few years for me. But in all the turmoil and many losses (which I won’t enumerate because this is a feel good piece), I have come out on the other side stronger, better and more focused than ever. I have discovered the importance of God, the universe, friends, family and pets.
Now, please don’t get me wrong. My recent break up and divorce has not made me bitter. I still LOOOOVVVE MEN!! There’s nothing sexier than a confident gentleman who smells good and who is not looking for a mother figure or a 20 year old hottie. And thus…the reason for this piece. We often get caught up in the negative aspects of a break up. We feel the very real pain of losing someone we love and thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives with, taking care of them and being taken care of. We miss the “you and me against the world” feeling. When a break-up or changing of the season comes (and you’re not the one initiating the change), it can actually feel like a death. We only see what we have lost. But now that most of my grief has subsided, and being the true romantic that I am, I realize there’s a chance to experience a whole new world of “FIRSTS”! A first glance. A first date. A first kiss. A first…need I say more?
Yes, I read Steve Harvey’s wonderful book Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man. And while I learned a few good tips on how men think, there were still some missing thoughts for me as a newly single, grown woman over 50! I’m not looking for a father for my kids, I don’t have baby daddy drama and I know that if I decide I’m going to share “the Cookie,” the world won’t stop spinning if you don’t call me the next day. Hell, I MIGHT NOT CALL YOU!!! If you are a father, I know your children come first and if you have baby mama drama, that’s between the two of you. I do thank Mr. Harvey for reminding me that I don’t have to be in control all the time and I do want to be treated like a Lady (that’s how I was raised). But as a spokesperson for the SOCIETY I wanted to let all the ladies over 50, got our own money, house, business, no husband or kids, know that…it’s OK.
Not many men and/or women over 50 get a chance to experience the thrill of the “Firsts” again. I’m talking about the real Firsts, not just the “for tonight” Firsts. I’m talking about the stomach fluttering, heart pounding, when will I see you again, ooooo, girl there he is Firsts! The I can still smell his cologne, is he looking at me, I can’t even look at him no more Firsts!!! The wow, I didn’t know that was still in working order First!! THE I CAN’T BELIEVE I REMEMBERED HOW TO DO THAT FIRST!!!!! Sorry. I got carried away...
Anyhoo, I’m here as a reminder that there’s a light on the other side. If nothing else, the thought of feeling that sensation again should help to get you to the other side. We in the SOCIETY are proud and strong and ready for the Firsts…AGAIN! Join us!
Let Go and Let God!
Member of “THE SOCIETY”